My aching cerebellum dios mio

Hello again. Still not too much happening these days…still looking for a job, spending time at the gym, and have been desperately trying to cut down on my computer time. That would be obviously because I have so much free time these days; its easy to spend to much time fucking around on the net. Not to say that I have been spending all my time on the ol’ computer…in the last few months I have made a major dent in my to read list, been keeping on top of my laundry (for the first time ever), and I have found myself reading two newspapers a day.

Dave (Bo) said the other day on his blog, “I have no idea how opinionated became a bad word,” which had me remember a run with a girl at a party recently. I had not seen this girl in several years-fuck maybe it had been an entire decade (its hard to believe that I am old enough to say that). Basically, I asked her out…she said no because I was not successful enough for her. Which at first I got to say, hit me like a fucking white hot freight train. And I must say it kind of hurt the old self-esteem (although my body may made of metal my heart is still fleshy) and then something suddenly occurred to me. It was the most honest, (yet however uncouth) thing a girl has said to me ever. In my entire adult life I have never encountered someone of the opposite sex be so upfront. Suddenly after thinking for a minute about all the bullshit I had heard from girls, the upfront one seemed a bit more evolved or maybe even a step ahead of the rest –fuck maybe even a little hotter than all the rest.

I started to think about what I was told when my last relationship ended, well more to the point, how bullshit it was. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to sound like I regret ever being with her, however a bullshit ending to a great story in a view of hindsight, makes you think about what really ended it. Especially when deep inside somewhere you hate to look; is the hidden fact that you knew all along she had already checked out long before it actually ended.